Everett Miles Bennion
June 8, 2017
2:57 pm
7.08 lbs
19 1/2 in
My baby is here! Nine months of anticipating, thinking throughout the day - every day - about my baby and changing body. Wondering, hoping, praying, waiting - it finally comes to fruition. It is beautiful! A miracle! The Spirit confirms to me that birth is a sacred and beautifully essential part of the Plan of Salvation.
At my 38 week appointment, the midwife measured me at only 34 weeks (and at 36 weeks I had measured at 34) so she ordered an ultrasound growth scan just to make sure baby was growing all right. I was getting paranoid because I thought I might look a little smaller than I did during other pregnancies at this point and when people always say, “You look so small!” It made me self-conscious that baby is too small too. Well, they did the scan and the umbilical cord blood flow looked beautiful and baby was estimated to weigh 8-8.5 lbs. Whoa! That would be a huge baby for me since all my others were low to mid 7 lbs range. I thought the baby probably would be closer in size to my others since the margin of error in ultrasound weight estimates is +/- 1 lb. I suspected the baby was super low (and they confirmed that), contributing to me looking smaller on the outside. After that ultrasound, my fears were resolved and now it was just a waiting game for actual labor!
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| 38 weeks 5 days |
My due date was June 13. The morning of June 7th, I woke up extra early (as I had an extra early bedtime the night before) and thought I’d take advantage of the early wake-up by going on a walk. I had enough time to go longer than my normal .75 mile route, so I briskly walked a mile and a half. Afterwards my Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions which had been very mild up to that point felt more noticeable. I dropped the kids off at a friend’s house and headed to my 39 week (and 1 day) appointment. When there, the midwife asked if I wanted to have my cervix checked and I agreed readily since it would be my first check and it’s always interesting to know how your body is progressing. I was 3-3.5 cm dilated and 75-80% effaced, very soft and stretchy with bloody show upon being checked and a significant amount immediately afterwards. The midwife commented that I was very ready. She said she was surprised the baby was so low - as low as first-time moms - which to me explained all the lower pelvic nerve pain I’d been experiencing the last trimester. She said she expected to have me deliver any day now - so I was thinking it would happen this week. The rest of the day I felt more crampy and sensitive to getting stronger BH, especially triggered by lifting a child or more movement. By the evening I noticed fresh mucousy bloody-show and I started realizing this could be early labor and that maybe a baby would be here in the next day or two! I was excited but also filled with a little anxiety. I hadn’t cleaned my bathroom yet! :) I decided to take a cool bath in our big tub because it would feel nice especially in our hot, non-air conditioned house in upper 90-degree weather (the AC had gone out two days earlier and still wasn't fixed). However, I realized I needed to wipe the tub down first, so like “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie” I didn’t stop until the entire bathroom floor and countertops were wiped down. I felt like a frantic, nesting pregnant woman - because I was! I think my body knew the time was coming. Finally, I tried to relax and take a bath. I texted my doula my condition that evening and she suggested that by morning I’d know if this was the real deal or it would die down. I called my mom and broke the news that I could be going into labor (she was supposed to arrive on Friday afternoon and it was Wednesday night). That was disappointing because I really wanted her with me. But I reminded myself of my affirmation that, “my baby is coming to meet me at exactly the right moment in exactly the right way.”
I went to bed that night moody because I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by what seemed to be my precipitating labor. I was very excited for it to happen, but having a baby is such an intense and powerful experience, I felt overwhelmed by thinking it could be so soon. I also felt moody because if it didn’t become real overnight, I’d have to endure a long day the next day with Christian leaving at 7 am and not coming home until after 9 pm because of an evening moonlight job. I also had lots of little things to finish to get ready for my mom coming, AND our AC was supposed to be fixed by now and it wasn't. :( Thankfully I was able to go to sleep despite my bad mood around 10:15 or so. I woke up at 4 am which is usually when I’ve been waking up this last trimester to go to the bathroom. My first thought was - oh I feel pretty normal, looks like things have died down. That’s good news for my mom. But then I felt a contraction that was real. Still relatively mild and irregular timing (8-12 min apart), but definitely not crampy BH anymore. Christian was awake and couldn’t go back to sleep either after he realized I was probably really going into labor! After a while I got up to finish packing my hospital bag and by 6 am, the contractions continued every 4-6 minutes at mild-moderate intensity, 30-50 seconds long but not getting consistently stronger. We realized that this was it! I began to realize I would need Christian with me all day and so he began getting his day of work covered for him, however, he had to run some errands first. I gave him the go-ahead and he left, promising to be home in a couple hours. While he was gone contractions got to the intensity where I wanted to sit on the birth ball during each one to relax. Even though they seemed to spread out in spacing a little they were gradually getting stronger and longer. Thankfully the kids slept in pretty late so I focused on getting a good breakfast of cereal, yogurt and fruit and staying relaxed. When Evelyn woke up at 7:30 I got her breakfast and then a little after 8:00 a.m. Christian got home. I now retreated to my room to focus and relax more deeply. The contractions continued increasing in intensity, about 6-8 minutes apart. By 9:00 a.m. I told my doula I was ready for her to come. I was a little concerned I’d tell her to come over too early and she wouldn’t be of as much help for me yet, but she told me she’d be an hour away so it gave me some more time to progress. Christian gave me a comforting priesthood blessing and not long after, Amy McCoy, my doula with Sun City Doulas arrived at our house around 10 a.m. I was glad to see her. I wanted to have another natural birth (it would be my third unmedicated birth) and I knew a doula would give me the added confidence and assurance to overcome my fears.
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| Relaxing during a contraction. Rebozo blanket resting on my belly. |
Really, the timing for everything flowed so perfectly. When Amy got there I was able to talk pretty normally to her in-between contractions but during them I had to tune out and relax. Right away Amy started utilizing her skills very effectively. She reminded me to go to the bathroom and got me water and refills, she encouraged me to take care of anything that was stressing me out, like arrangements for the kids which weren’t finalized. Without her I’d probably just lie there on my side with my body pillow (because that’s my go-to position) not being proactive. But she would encourage me to try something new for a few contractions, then have me rest some more. I’d sit on the birth ball and lean back slightly onto Christian which felt really really nice. She had me lift up my low-lying belly a bit during a contraction to help baby’s positioning. She used a rebozo blanket to apply some counter pressure on my hips and then later on hung it from the top of the door so I could hang with support in a squatting position to help baby’s positioning. I actually did feel baby shift down a bit when I hung. She even went out to help the kids get a snack so Christian and I could have some alone snuggle time because oxytocin - the love hormone- contributes to progression of labor! She said and did all the right things - and all of this really contributed to a smooth progression. I felt at ease mentally and physically and it helped pass the time and gave me new things to focus on. She complemented my husband’s support - didn’t replace it - and she was always at the ready, contributing to such a lovely experience! AND she even unexpectedly brought her nice camera to take photos - something I had always wanted. Amy was such a beautiful blessing - I’m sold on doulas ;)
By 12:30 or so I was feeling like we should have Christian drop the kids off at my friend’s house and then us leave for the hospital, as the intensity was building stronger and stronger. Contractions were coming 3-4 minutes apart and lasting a minute or so. Christian replied, “Let's wait two more contractions and then I’ll go”. Those little suggestions helped me not rush too fast because ideally, the goal was to get to the hospital towards the end of labor and not too soon. Again, it was a blessing to have Amy with me especially with my mom not here so I wouldn’t be alone while Christian took care of things. Amy again suggested the perfect thing - this time to take a bath or shower while Christian was gone (it would be around 20 minutes). I almost didn’t want to move and get wet etc., but I took a shower and it felt so good! I contracted leaning against the shower ledge and also hands on my thighs leaning over, letting the water hit my lower back and then abdomen. Then when I got out, I had a contraction on all fours. Just as I was finishing getting dressed, Christian was home! Perfect! Amy grabbed an old towel for me so I could sit on it as we drove to the hospital in case my water broke, and then got in her car so she could meet us at the Army hospital, 30 minutes away.
Months ago when I started my prenatal visits at William Beaumont Army hospital, I was sad and disappointed at the older, crowded, more worn conditions of the hospital, as I had my last three kids at a nice newer hospital and visits in nice clinics with staff I liked. My first appointment at Beaumont at 11 weeks was not with a midwife I loved and the whole experience made me sad. Well, after I finally met with another midwife at Beaumont who I just really clicked with - Valerie Topp - that changed the whole experience for me. She treated me like a daughter - she was so loving and friendly. Then later the doulas told me that Beaumont was probably the most natural birthing-friendly hospital in El Paso. That gave me a lot of confidence too. So even though I was a little nervous to have to drive 30 minutes away while in the throes of labor, I was hopeful the hospital experience would be good - and I wasn’t disappointed :)
The drive to the hospital went by so quick (not sure if it was Christian’s speed he was driving or how I was coping :) but even with the literal bumps I was in a good place. Amy had suggested weeks ago that I plan to listen to something with headphones as we drove and I knew if I just retreated inward I would be fine. I first listened to David Archuletta’s “My little Prayer” a couple times as it has felt like a very sacred and comforting song to me. I got emotional listening to it as it reminded me of my Father’s love and providing care and His Son’s grace that would be provided me. Then because I didn’t want to be stuffy and runny-nosed as I was trying to breathe in a relaxed way, I transitioned to my hypnobirth track “Relaxation” which guides me through progressive relaxation and was so perfect at helping me feel peaceful.
I would say my coping method of choice in preparation for and during labor was definitely Hypnobirthing. I have been interested in Hypnobabies as well and without buying any curriculum, I explored it a bit this time, downloading and listening to the free track from their website, “Instantly Calm”. I feel like Hypnobabies is more focused on deeper hypnosis training and has more resources to listen to and practice with before and during labor. Establishing an automatic relaxed response to the cue word “Peace” from that free Hypnobabies track was really helpful for me. In fact, that’s what I liked Christian to say during contractions, was “peace”, with a steady, firm hand on my shoulder. As for Hypnobirthing, the book and audio tracks (which are all I’ve used, I’ve never took a class although I know it would be very helpful) seem more simplified, focusing on progressive body relaxation, deep, slow breathing and working with your uterus’ contractions. Both methods essentially aim to help you achieve the same relaxed, peaceful and fear-free birth. I can’t say enough good things about hypo-training for birth. Even if you have an epidural, it can help your early labor go quicker and smoother, it will help you with the stresses and fears of pregnancy and labor/delivery, discomforts with breastfeeding, and those miserable after pains that just get worse with each kid :/ Not to mention the plethora of other stresses we deal with on a day to day basis. I use the cue word “peace” to help me relax as I’m driving.
Other things I did to prepare was listening to positive affirmations or reviewing my written ones daily, walking and yoga, and for baby’s positioning: sitting on my birth ball (which really helped too when I was having lower pelvic nerve spasms), sleeping on my left-side as much as I could and trying to remember to sit upright as often as I could rather than reclined. I also ate six dates a day from 36 weeks on in a yummy smoothie because of this research about its effect on quick labors. The daily smoothie was probably my favorite preparation of all (I bought a big tub from Sam’s club like this, then each day I'd take six dates and pit and chop them up then microwave them in a little water for 1 min. 45 sec or so, so they'd blend up easier, then I blended them with ice, milk, yogurt and fruit (or bananas and a spoonful of peanut butter - so good).
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| Outside the hospital entrance. |
We got to the hospital a little before 1:30 p.m. Contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and at least a minute long. I am usually a speed-walker, passing people in an almost competitive way that reminds me of running a race :) But this time I was very slow and measured in my walking. We got to the elevators along with a larger group of people. One lady looked at me and said to my doula and Christian with a wise smile, “She’s ready”. She looked at me and said kindly, “it will be over before you know it”. That got me emotional because I knew it was true. We walked into the elevator and Christian protected me in the corner of the crowded space and thankfully it was only one floor up. We got off and I started getting a little teary again. Amy asked me how I was feeling and I expressed to her that it was overwhelming to think of what was coming. Mostly happy, but a little trepidation. So many emotions!! We checked in, and I always think it’s funny how they ask, “are you being induced?”, and other questions when they have no idea how close I am to delivering a baby! Thankfully check in was quick and I only had to wait a few minutes in the waiting room. I stood and leaned against Christian, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my head into his neck and shoulder as contractions hit.
We were checked in by 1:30 and in the triage room. I told myself on the way to the hospital I could be in the 5 cm range and I’d be okay. No matter where I was at, I knew labor could move ahead very rapidly at any time, so I’d be okay with it. Well, when the midwife checked, she said, “If I’m feeling this right, and I think I am, this is a 7.5 or 8”. Wow! The furthest along I’ve been at check in with any of my kids. I’d take it! :)
I got into the delivery room around 1:45 and it was go-time. They dimmed the lights which was a request I had in my birth plan. I don’t like to seem demanding so birth plans feel out of my comfort zone but my doula encouraged me to fill one out and with her advocacy in the hospital room, little things were done - like the lights - which contributed to such a satisfying birth. When I got into the hospital bed, Amy gave me a peanut ball which was available in the room. It is used for advancing dilation and baby’s positioning for women laboring in bed. Since I do well laboring by relaxing on my side, it was perfect. Within 30-40 minutes or so the contractions were coming at an intensity that was no doubt transition. I was feeling moderate nausea during peaks of the contraction, my legs were shaky, my arms even started getting a little tingly, and I was getting more flushed and sweaty. During the last twenty minutes I got more vocal too, which isn’t bad at all! In fact, you’re encouraged to be uninhibited, but with my inhibited nature it doesn’t come as naturally. I was moaning through them, sometimes grunting a little as I could feel baby descending a bit or because I felt like throwing up, and my pleads for help began as the contraction would begin. I pled for Christian and Amy to help me, and eventually asking my Heavenly Father for help out loud. At some point the doctor came in - I thought I’d be delivered by a midwife - but she was wonderful. She was a big, beautiful, happy lady who smiled a lot and along with the nurse, kept emphasizing how this was my story and my labor, not theirs. They would follow my lead and I just needed to tell them when I wanted to be checked, when I wanted to push, if I wanted my water broken, etc. The nurse even said this reminded her of her labors as she had four without medication. What a supportive team! Wow! We were so happy and impressed with all the positivity in the room.
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| Using the peanut ball |
I’ve had mild tearing with all my previous kids and I’ve also never felt a strong, overwhelming urge to push. Those things made me wonder if there was a better way to push besides just going for it as soon as I’m completely dilated. Also with my last baby I was a little overwhelmed by the sensations of baby exiting my body and I wanted a more calm and patient pushing experience. After about an hour in the delivery room I started feeling baby descend a little more but still had only mild pushing urges, but I wanted them to check me again. I was at a 10 and ha, to heck with being patient - I wanted to start pushing! :) My water hadn’t broken and I asked if that would help and they said that baby would slide right out, but my contractions would get stronger. I wanted it done. Everyone came into the room. I remember glancing to my side and seeing the guy by the baby warming bed and I thought, they’re getting ready for the baby to come out right now! Crazy! I also wanted to try pushing on my side because of this research that it reduced tearing and it felt pretty comfortable too, I just needed someone to support my leg and let me push against them when it was time. They also used a warm compresses on the perineum which I asked for in my birth plan, which has been shown to reduce tearing. With the next couple contractions I did some gentle pushing but then I just went for it even though I wasn’t feeling an intense urge - vocalizing that crazy pressure and brief burning of the head emerging.
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| Pushing on my side. Look how hard I'm gripping Christian's arm ;) |
“We see his head!” They said excitedly.
The contraction ended, he retracted a bit and I said disappointedly, “but he didn’t come out!”
“But he’s right there!” They reminded me.
I went for it again during the next contraction, but gave up steam a little. "But it burns!” I said defeatedly. At this point you just have to let it happen - to surrender fully - to give your trust to God that you’re not going to split in half, but let this final, most spectacular moment occur. On the next push his head came out, then some more pushing and his shoulders!
“Look down! Do you want to grab him?” The doctor excitedly offered.
I shifted onto my back and I got my first view of baby. My first thought was, his nose looks more like Evelyn. I reached down and took his surprisingly tiny, slippery body and pulled his legs out of me and his body up onto my belly. He was here! Then came that rush of emotion - more than with any other kids I’ve had so far, “Oh baby you’re here! I love you!” I cried with tears coming and love and joy and relief gushing. He was still connected to the cord so I couldn’t pull him up too far, but I got to just hold and love him instantly! I loved that!! They waited until the cord completely stopped pulsing and dad cut it. The placenta came out quick and they commented how nice and healthy the cord and placenta looked. He was nourished very well in there. Then the best shocker or the day, the doctor examined me and said, “she’s intact”.
“I didn’t tear??” I asked in amazement and they confirmed I didn’t. Hallelujah! It has been so nice to not deal with all that comes with stitches and healing. Immediately I got to hold my baby on my chest and they didn’t take him away for over an hour. They cleared out quickly and within ten minutes of birth it was nice and quiet. Bliss.
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15 minutes after the birth |
I was SO happy how it all went. It’s all about support and love - that makes the experience. As for having an epidural-free birth - I went through an intense time of forming my opinions on it which were influenced by the positive experiences of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, the epidural complication I had when Claire was born, and the confidence that I totally CAN do it. Also, with the positive research on its connection to having quicker labors with less complications and interventions and the powerful religious analogies tied to going through intense and difficult experiences - I’m sold. Even though during the last two hours of labor I start thinking, “Why would anybody do this to themselves?” and “I’m a little jealous of women who get to relax pain-free until they have a baby in their arms!” :) Those thoughts were just cues to me that the baby was almost here. The doula’s presence and support was more than enough to give me the motivation that I was for sure doing it this way. And I will admit, my last three have been easy, uncomplicated labors. I haven’t had back labor or a sunny-side up baby or pitocin or other things that make it more difficult. I can’t say what I would do in those situations, but in my own experiences, the intensity has made the birth even more beautiful for me and the feeling of accomplishment of doing something really hard makes it even more satisfying.
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| My awesome doula Amy |
For those interested in how I coped with the “pain” or in the hypnobirthing world, “pressure” or “intensity”, that’s just it. It’s how you think about your experience that makes all the difference - even the words you use. My birth plan asked that the nurse not ask me about my pain level during the actual labor but comfort level instead. Suffering is a subjective experience. You may experience pain, but you don’t have to suffer. At times I felt I was able to disassociate myself from the sensations, envisioning the dissonant waves floating over and past me. BREATHING is huge - deeply and slowly and complete relaxation, with verbal reminders to relax places that look tight. For many other unmedicated moms out there, lying still sounds like torture, but for me with hypnobirthing it’s what works. I really liked the affirmation that the contractions aren’t stronger than me because they are me and their strength is a sign of my strength. I also have read a number of natural birth stories where the women didn’t use hypnobirthing and seemed to have a hard time surrendering to the experience. They were fighting contractions, there was a lot of fear and thus there was too much fight-or-flight going on in their bodies which doesn’t help progression. In so many of those stories, they finally got to the point where they realized they needed to surrender, and that’s when the baby finally comes. Hypnobirthing seems to help you get to that place much earlier. Instead of fighting the contraction, let it wash over you and ride its wave. Another thing was that contractions can feel overwhelming and out of your control which is scary, but I reminded myself that I could control how limp and relaxed I was in response and that gave me back some control of the situation. The whole experience for me is a triumph over fear. I was afraid of having fearful thoughts during labor but I reminded myself that when they usually pop up, that’s just a sign that baby is almost here. Instead of fearing negative thoughts and fighting their presence, I can just acknowledge them and then let them pass by without giving them any power. Mindfulness is another aspect of relaxation and birth and something I want to study more in-depth. Don’t think, just be in the moment and let God do his miracle. Again, regardless of epidural or not - these tools contribute to better mental health throughout our life and are things we can teach our children.
I am beyond grateful to God and His Son Jesus Christ. I give them the glory forever to allow us to be co-creators with Him to advance the Plan of Salvation in the lives of His children. Bearing a child is just the beginning of a lifetime of bearing with our children in their struggles, but with God, there is no reason to fear. It helps me to remember that we can’t prevent all their suffering - in fact, struggle is crucial to our mortal experience and our brains are wired for it, we just need to help our children always feel worthy of love and belonging from us and their Heavenly Father and they will be okay. I can do that.
Clark's birth story
Clarie's birth story
